Growing Old is So Undigified
by Fiction1119
Summary: What happens if a spell becomes twisted? Well Snape is about to find out. Warning non-slash De-aging and mostly AU
1. Chapter 1: Mutt

Growing Old is so Undignified

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  
**

**Warnings: Deaging, mostly AU, nonslash.**

**This is a challenge response from Shizu66  
**

Chapter 1 ~Mutt~

"You dirty mudblood get out of MY HOUSE!"

"Sirius if you don't shut your mother up I'm going to burn her picture." Severus swept past the screaming portrait and into Grimmauld Place where he was waiting for the other order members to arrive.

"I'd like to see you try Snivellus," Sirius challenged as he followed behind his hated compatriot flicking his mother's curtain back in place as he stalked past. He didn't know why they needed such a squib in the order when they had so many good wizards already.

"If you weren't such a bad dog I wouldn't have to be here to make sure you don't tinkle on the carpet before the rest of the order gets here Black."

"Tinkle on the carpet?" Sirius said with a shocked look on his face. Recovering quickly he quipped, "Don't you mean _piss_ on the carpet?"

"Don't be crass Black. If I meant 'piss' I would have said 'piss' but I was trying to use words your limited brain capacity could process."

"Limited brain capacity? I'll show you limited brain capacity you greasy haired get." Black raised his wand just about to throw a spell at Snivullas when Severus pulled out his own wand and shook it like a school teacher scolding a small child.

"Tisk. Tisk. Tisk. Now this is just the type of behavior I was talking about. Then again I guess I shouldn't be surprised after all you are just a Neanderthal what with your concept of personal hygene and housekeeping, or lack there of." Severus gestured to the dusty starwell and dark rooms of the house.

"I wouldn't be talking about personal hygiene if I were you. After all it looks like your hair hasn't see water and soap this year let alone the past twenty years." Black sneered.

"At least I have an excuse because of my work. What's yours? Fear of water? Soap?"

"Ha! So you admit it! You haven't washed your hair in twenty years." Black laughed then added cruelly, "No wonder Lilly liked James better. After all who would want a greasy haired, skinny, beak nosed, ugly ass get like you."

Each intentional cruel barb struck true leaving Severus standing on the landing nearly vibrating in anger. "Take it back." He practically hissed into the darkened hall. "Take it back, you mutt. Take it _back_!" He glared at Back, his wand wavering slightly in his anger.

"Make me." Sirius taunted Severus. This was a better reaction then anything he could ever imagine.

"You are such an immature _puppy_!" Severus spat out between clenched teeth just as a spell flashed from his wand aimed straight for Sirius's heart.

Sirius reacted with speed born of practical application, after years of avoiding recapture he got pretty fast with his wand work. With a flick of his wrist he sent the speeding spell past his shoulder towards the front door, not bothering to see where the spell would land.

Kreacher, who had popped into the hall near Walburga Black's portrait to watch the ensuing fight hoping to see the hated master get thrashed, was expecting spells to be tossed by both wizards. However, he was not expecting Sirius to toss a spell over his shoulder. When the spell's direction was clearly at the portrait of the late mistress Kreacher understood Sirius' spell even if he would not let such disrespect stand against the great matriarch of the Black family. Working a bit of house elf magic he sent the spell back to its caster. Kreacher's aim was true and just as the front door opened the spell struck home.

Dumbledore and the rest of the Order members walked into the front hall only to be greeted by a muttering house elf, a flash of magic, and a billowing cloud of smoke. Sirius, who had been waiting to see if Severus was going to throw another spell turned away just as the door opened and the spell took affect. He stood in shock as the smoke billowed past him and the flash of magic faded from his peripheral vision. _What just happened_? He thought as his mind tried to process the events of the past few moments.

Dumbledore had no such issues and walked farther into the house only coughing one or twice as the smoke slowly cleared. "Why does the smoke smell like wet dog?" He asked as he cleared his throat one last time. When Sirius did not reply he asked his next question. "Where is Professor Snape. I would have thought he would have been here by now." The headmaster looked into the nearest rooms thinking that Severus was in one waiting for the rest of the Order to arrive.

Sirius re-gathered his wits and turned back to the landing where Severus was standing just seconds ago. He just stared in silent horror as the smoke slowly cleared and the tall figure of Severus was not visible.

"What are you looking at my boy?" Dumbledore asked curiously as he came to a stop right behind Sirius. He squinted through his half moon glasses but could not see what would cause Sirius to look so serious. The smoke was nearly gone and Dumbledore could make out a shape on the landing. "When did you get a dog Sirius? And it's such a cute pup too. Good for you my boy, your starting to settle into your life if you have gotten a dog. They are, after all, a lot of work."

Sirius' jaw dropped when he saw the small black puppy standing, quivering on the landing in the exact spot Severus was when the spell struck. It's long nose and shiny black coat reminded him a bit too much of Severus. "It can't be," He muttered out loud to himself. The implications of the appearance of the dog in tandem with the disappearance of Severus were just too farfetched for Sirius to believe possible.

"Well of course it can. I would say it's, hum, a borzoi unless I'm mistaken." Dumbledore frowned at Sirius. "Come now my boy, don't tell me you didn't want a dog. If that was the case then why is there a dog sitting on your carpet?"

A bit dumbfounded Sirius turned to Dumbledore and with a shaking finger pointed at the puppy. "Snape. My God Dumbledore I think that might be Snape."


	2. Chapter 2: Good, Bad, & Intresting News

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**Warnings: Deaging, mostly AU, nonslash.**

**This is a challenge response from Shizu66**

Ch 2 ~Good News, Bad News, and Interesting News~

Severus stood on the landing trying to process the sudden change in circumstances. Just moments ago he was standing in that same spot yelling at Black and then he found himself much smaller and standing on four legs rather than two. It didn't take him long to realize that his spell rebounded somehow and now he was the dog instead of the intended target, Sirius.

While Severus slowly became use to the idea of being a dog, at least until the spell wore off. Dumbledore was trying his best to figure out what happened. "Now Sirius, calm down and tell me what happened as best as you remember."

Sirius pulled his gaze away from the little puppy that was Severus. Appearing slightly shameful Sirius began explaining the events that led up to their current circumstances ending with, "And then you walked in. I swear Dumbledore I just tossed the spell behind me. I didn't direct it back at him; at least I don't think I did."

_Don't belie him Dumbledore. He did this on purpose,_ Severus argued but quickly fell silent as he realized that instead of words he was speaking in the lauguage of dogs; a serious of barks and whines.

Dumbledore looked down at Severus in surprise, "I do believe he is trying to tell us something."

_Fix this!_ Again instead of words Severus let out two sharp barks then proceeded to glare indignantly at Sirius and Dumbledore.

"Right, lets being then." Dumbledore pulled out his wand and for a brief hope filled moment Severus believed that they could understand him. That hope fell flat when Dumbledore continued, "We first need to do some tests to see what exactly when wrong here."

After five tense minutes where Dumbledore waved his wand over Severus, muttering all the while, the old wizard lowered his arm and turned to the strange group of people still in the entry hall of the old house. "Well I have some good news, some bad news, and some interesting news. Which would you like to hear first?"

_The bad news_, Severus barked.

"The interesting news," Moody muttered with Tonks and Remus nodding in agreement.

"The good news please, Dumbledore," Sirius asked quietly still not quite ready to face the fact that he might have actually gotten Severus stuck in that shape. Dumbledore nodded in understanding even though Sirius did his best to hide his feelings of guilt.

"Well this borzoi puppy really is Severus, that's the good news. The intrusting news is that the spell seems to be a variation on a transfiguration spell. One that Severus had to have been working on for months now. It even has a timer on it, something the traditional spell doesn't have." Dumbledore paused then to look down at Severus. Severus didn't even realize that he whimpered softly and cowered a bit underneath the old wizards gaze until he saw the look of pity that was clear in Dumbledore's eyes. "The bad news is that it seems the spell was warped a bit when it go bounced around. I don't really know how to reverse it." He seemed to be talking directly to Severus before looking back up at the group of wizards and continuing, "It could be that Severus will remain a dog for an hour or a day or even a year or more. I just can't say without knowing what happened to the original spell. I can't even tell you if Severus can understand us in the form he is in."

Both Sirius and Severus stared at Dumbledore with shocked faces. Shock soon faded to horror when Dumbledore turned to face Sirius and said, "He is your responsibility now Sirius, since you did provoke him into casting the spell."

Sirius and Severus both started to protest, each in his own way.

"Hell no! You can't make me Dumbledore. Why is it my fault that Snivellus can't duck spell-"

_I would rather die first. In fact I would likely die in Black's care within the hour. You can't leave me with him- _

"Enough!" Dumbledore said with force, silencing Sirius' protests and Severus' annoying puppy like yips and growls. "You _will _watch over Severus until the spell wears off or until we can find a reverse for it. Is. That. Clear?"

"Yes Sir." Sirius said at the same time Severus barked the same phrase. Both males would deal with each other as ordered but that did not mean they had to like it.

"Good. Now if you don't mind we should begin the Order meeting since we still have to plan on how to get Harry, Ron, and Hermione here in the next few days…" Dumbledore's voice faded as he walked into the kitchen with Moody, Tonks, Remus, Kingsley Shacklebolt who had remained silent during the entire time.

Sirius watched the group file through the doorway before looking down at Severus, "Don't forget, no tinkling on the carpet mutt." He sneered down at the pup, unhappy about the turn of events but happy that it wasn't his fault, even if he was being blamed for it.

Severus growled at Sirius before barking, _Don't be surprised if you find your shoes chewed to scraps._


End file.
